The Home of Baltimore's BettyButterflyBBBW

So much to say...so little space!

Name:
Location: Fort Worth, Texas, United States

I am a Big, Beautiful, Intelligent, Black, Young Lady from Northwest Baltimore. I am a Harmonic Refined Daughter of the King and a combination Betty and Butterfly BAP. I debuted with Baltimore County Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. in Novemeber, 2005. Also, an Aries and Dragon. Currently a freshwoman at the Texas Christian University. GO FROGS!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

By the way, why is it so damned hard for me to find a suitable man? I know that I am into older men and not guys my age, but aside from that, there has to be another reason. I am told that I am not approachable and that I should flirt more and be less "stoic" and "let my guard down." Those things are hard to do since I did not know that my guard was up in the first place. I do not really know how to flirt. Apparentley, what I consider flirting is not hitting it. Besides, I am not down with the "nigga" mentality. I want to date and have a relationship with a young man, not a nigga. And I just do not like the looks, actions and attitudes (or gold teeth and cornrows) of most of the guys my age. I know that good things come to those who wait, but I am not good at waiting and my patience grows less each day. I do not think that I am bad looking, and I know that I have some self-esteem problems, but overall, I think that I am alright. I am losing weight (now that I am not trying to), I hope to get contacts, already have braces, (in desperate need of a relaxer, though), so I guess one could say that I am trying. I am not perfect, though I strive to do and be my best and it is disheartening when I try so hard to look the part and still try to be myself and still come up short. I have a lot of things on my mind and on my plate right now and I cannot help it if I do not look approachable. I believe that if a man does not have the guts to speak to me, then what need would I have for him? Why should I "soften up" if that is not who I am? Why should I be soft so that I can get a man? It is in my nature as an Aries and a Dragon to have and need a mate, but that is not happening...at least so far it has not. I know that I may be picky, but if one is not, then I will get anything and I do not want just anything. As many things as I have been praying for, I have not had the space (or breath) to add this to it. It just seems so stupid! I feel stupid because I feel tears in my eyes and heaviness in my heart right now because I feel unworthy some how of any kind of love or affection from a man. Not having a father in my life has really fucked me up and I do not know what kind of impact it will have later in my life. Not having a man around for the past 17 years and 10 months has made me want to have a man call me beautiful (and I want to feel beautiful) and love me and want me and sometimes, I do not feel like it is possible.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Federal Katrina Information

I have decided to become proactive: If you know anyone affected by Hurricanes Katrina or Rita, let them know that according to the Publication 17 of the Internal Revenue Service, under the heading "Nonbusiness Casualty and Theft Losses," that "Deductible casualty losses can redult from a number of different causes, including the following...Floods...storms, including hurricanes and tornadoes." All the victims needs to do is file their taxes and are entitled to claim the loss of their property. PLEASE INFORM THEM! Publication 17 can be ordered FREE OF CHARGE or viewed at http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p17.pdf. There is also the Katrina Emergency Tax Relief Act of 2005. For just as many that do know this, there are many more that do not! STAY INFORMED!

Happy New Year

Have not been here in a LONG time! Happy New Year!